Being single with parrots isn't easy. When it comes to dating, it's kind of like being divorced with kids. People look at you funny. They don't want to inherit your feathered children problems. I think I can speak for a lot of single parrot owners that it certainly makes things difficult.
My commitment is first and foremost to my parrots. They were there for me when I was alone, when I was happy, and just the same when I was sad. My parrots are family and you can't turn your back on family. So, if you want to be my lover, you've got to love my parrots too.
Yet, finding a potential match required that she would accept my parrots but not have other pets herself. A bit selfish, but what could I do when I was already committed to my birds? I wasn't looking for someone who has parrots or even necessarily likes them, but just someone who could accept them as part of me.
The kind of person that could say “it's me or the parrot” isn't even the kind of person I could have a relationship with regardless. If someone could think that way, then what would stop them from saying “it's me or the TV” or “it's me or your family” etc. No. The way someone feels about my bird family is how they feel about me.
So here's the story of how I met my lovebird, my perfect match. The story goes back to this spring when my little rascal Truman went out on his city adventure. While Truman was lost, I got some help from a parrot loving guy called Ronen. Ronen didn't find Truman, but he helped give me spirit to go on searching after 2 hard days and he took me to the place where Truman would be found. Ronen and I became friends and began to take our parrots out together. We started the NYC Parrot Adventures Group together to invite even more parrot loving New Yorkers to join us with their birds.
I remember the first day Marianna came out to meet us in Coney Island with her Blue and Gold Macaw named Rachel. She was late and rather shy. My first reaction was of annoyance. It was a cold gloomy evening and I was just anxious to take my birds home. I had Kili and Truman with me. She was so excited to meet the celebrity birds that she just couldn't get the words out or be herself. I guess I can say at that point, I didn't even like her.
Marianna came to further parrot group outings and the first time I really noticed her was the way she handled Truman. Truman would just melt away in her hands. I caught a glimpse of her kind and loving nature. She held and caressed Truman endlessly and he would close his eyes in delight. Although Truman will tolerate anyone, he is still choosing about who he actually likes. I've been passing that feathered monkey around long enough to be able to really tell.
Like in a romantic comedy, when bumped together by others in our group (like sending us to get food), we would just stand there ignoring each other. It's easy to go on making a fool of yourself or talk about parrots to everyone else. But when it comes to talking to the pretty girl you have a crush on, you just end up looking mad because you don't know what to say. What Marianna couldn't say to my face, she told me through her love of my parrots. She communicated through them how she felt. Marianna volunteered to help me with Santina's Roar shoot and was a big help. With something specific to do together, we began talking and we began to discover how right we are for each other.
Marianna told me that she was leaving for 3 weeks on vacation and didn't even have a place arranged for her macaw to stay. She said that as a last resort she'd just board it at her local bird store. I thought about it and the next day called to let her know I'd board her bird for her! For 3 weeks, Rachel was a trained parrot! I didn't have time to teach her tricks but I focused on bonding and good behavior. Now Rachel is by no means a bad bird. She's only a 2 year old macaw so quite young. But in the last year as she has been getting older, she has begun to bite people other than her owner. I had previously worked on step-up with Rachel outdoors, so once under my influence, I had no trouble getting Rachel to step up. However, Rachel would not let me pet her head or hold her. So during the time Rachel stayed with me, I got her comfortable being pet, held, grabbed, and putting her harness on. As you can imagine, Marianna and I stayed in close contact about things while she was away. Marianna came back from her trip not only to find a tamer parrot, but also an invitation to go out on a date.
Things have really taken off ever since. Not only did it turn out we have a common interest in parrots but also just about everything else as well. It's a one of a kind match that started as something more akin to a rivalry. Now we do everything together.
What's great is that our parrots get along with each other and with both of us. All of our parrots are great with both of us. Even Kili, who has a history of terrorizing people I'd invite home, likes Marianna and asks her for head-scratches. Truman may well like Marianna better than me. Kili, sitting on my shoulder, will let Marianna hug me and be near without any jealousy (for a Senegal, that is pretty unbelievable). Santina, although she doesn't want to be touched, likes Marianna too. Santina starts dancing and talking whenever Marianna is near. Also Santina gets along well with Rachel. And Rachel gets along with me. That's our awesome parrot family.
Getting the parrots to get along with each person and each other is no coincidence. It is the culmination of years of training, the right environment, and the right approach. Marianna and I make sure to include our parrots in our lives in such a way that makes them enjoy being part of this group in harmony rather than rivalry. They all get their special attention both privately and as a group. We include the birds on outings and in our daily routines. I left a big travel cage with Marianna so that Kili or Truman can come spend a week at a time with her and get even more used to things. Our parrots' approval is probably the most important of all and it is evident that we have it.
So all you parrot singles out there, I want to introduce you to a concept called parrot mingles. Join a parrot club, volunteer at a rescue, hang around your local bird store, start a parrot outing group. Who knows maybe you or your parrot will find their match!
I just want to mention Kristine who met her boyfriend Justin while taking her Senegal Parrot Qubit to the park. She's a member of our NYC Parrot Adventures Group and is working on taming Justin to be comfortable with her birdie. Show your parrot love and maybe some day it will help you find yours as well!